Recreation of the Heart

There are times when prayer
is lifting up a friend
or a sick relative

Prayer can be sitting in silence
with myself
my husband
my housemates

Sometimes prayer is
walking down the street
without being afraid
or walking down the street

I find prayer when I stop
to take a breath
and see that
I am not
You are not
God is not
safe.

For where that prayer will take you
there is no knowing
just that
you hope it takes you somewhere
that God is listening…not out there,
but right here with you

Prayer is sometimes felt deep within
it is a knowing that the change of your heart just then
is in the presence of God
who created the world
to love it
to give it purpose
order and
beauty.
Yes that’s what I said,
God created you,
loves you, gives you purpose, order, and beauty.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.

There are times when we must choose…the way. We must remember that we are part of the family of God, and therefore, are called to be, enact, move…differently.

A prodigal son is still a son.

I am tempted to do my own thing, to be on my own…and then the Spirit calls me to something better, something deeper. i am moved by this song:

I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I’m the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there’s anything to say, if there’s anything to do,
If there’s any other way, I’ll do anything for you.

I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take you’re time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother’s mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess, I’ll do anything for you

I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven’t one,
I’ll do anything for you. I did everything for you

–Sujan Stevens, “The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti”

There’s a television show Alex & I like…yes, a television show. It’s worth it to watch occasionally; it tells me something about my humanity.

The basic premise of the show is that people tell so many lies a day that lying is really an integral part of how we interact with people.

There is one character on the show who practices radical honesty–for example he meets his new co-worker and asks her exactly what’s on his mind: “What are my chances of sleeping with you?”

Soo-oo. The guy is not pure & he lets it be known. Refreshing, yes. Uplifting, not always.

Apparently the guy who started people taking this practice of radical honesty seriously is named Brad Blanton. “The Radical Honesty technique includes having practitioners state their feelings directly and in ways typically considered impolitic.”

Impolitic doesn’t sound so hot, but perhaps it’s better than gossiping or letting everything build up inside. I imagine that God doesn’t want us to be unkind but God also doesn’t want us hiding the truth from one another. Matthew 16:

15-17″If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.”

Eugene Peterson’s rendition of this passage is full of grace. I like that Jesus is so practical clear in this moment.

In our women’s bible study here at New Leaf we are dialoguing about women in the Bible, especially about Miriam and how a seed of contempt can spread so easily and infect a group of people (She was sort of angry at Moses).

This is how it is with gossiping works, and I’m afraid almost everyone is guilty of it. What we should say instead is “Go talk to that person.”

Year two of married life. We are so grateful to have made it this far.

Yes, grateful to be alive today. The sun is shining now.

There is no telling what the days have in store for us
Whether it will rain or not
Whether we’ll feel like leaving the house or not
And then something happens
We meet someone
We find something
We love
And then
Getting up and going out
is natural

We are loved and accepted
So why not share
that love and acceptance?

Today God is outpouring love and acceptance
on our world
in the trees changing color
in the nice note your friend sends you
in the company of loved ones
and wherever you feel most alone.
somehow God is there, too.

There is something about 25
they say that’s the age you look the best
I say it’s the age I feel the best
the best I’ve felt in all my years

At 25
difficulty and sadness and joy and happiness just
come and they go
like friends and lovers

There is no such thing as a perfect day
but I will make sure to
worship the Maker while am breathing
for all the small things
my cat curled up in my sweater
I like to think she knows its mine
a woman who is beautiful and doesn’t seem to know it
maybe we’d be friends…

Now that I am 25
no more days
wasted on failure
I will give it to God
and move on

No more precious hours with my friends, my husband, my family
lost
to my mind’s wanderings
I will be here
I will be present
I will try
to pay attention to you
and love what I see

I’m going to stop wishing for another home
and like
with the stains on the carpet
the mice
the fact that it isn’t mine

It isn’t mine.
This world isn’t mine.