MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road
ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I
really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your
will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the
desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that
desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me
by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will
trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of
death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never
leave me to face my perils alone.
In liturgy at New Leaf Church we are working through Life of the Beloved. We have spent a few weeks in each of the movements that Henri Nouwen identifies:
Taken
Blessed
Broken
Given
We had an exercise in church that had us find images of giving and identify one word that described the feeling of the picture–how does that person feel in their giving?
This week we’ll explore the brokenness that can lead to giving…
What has been most brilliant in this time has been the way that God has brought these themes into our lives. It all started with Jeremy O’Roark’s sermon back in July and his thoughts about God’s love and how if we really believed God loved us it would change us. I piggy-backed off his sermon & talked about how brokenness & God’s love change how we see the world…
I seem to recall that when our now intern Jennifer Howard Burns preached in August she also talked a bit about God’s love/grace in her life & in community over the summer.
But I guess I wasn’t done with it yet, which is why I was drawn to Nouwen’s book. And then when a guitarist on our worship team-Nat– brought me a copy of “Hope for Tree Cut Down” which I recommend as meditative music for a time of contemplation. It has a nice balance of vocals & not, quiet & more invigorating. The lyrics are beautiful, some traditional & some new. Here’s the link: http://www.belovedschurch.org/hope
Today was New Leaf Church outreach day & it was so fun! We walked Hyattsville & College Park to meet neighbors on their Saturday morning–walking dogs, doing yard work, just hanging out….
This was pure pleasure on this gray, cool, fall day.
So was putting together the Patty Pan Squash dish we made for our family gathering.
I recommend doing a Patty Pan Squash bake–4 squashes, 1 cup cheddar, 1/2 Parmesan, and bread crumbs on top. Bake at 350.
Maybe it’s from a movie
but then again
there are parts of my life
that seem like a movie
Maybe it’s from someone else’s life
but so often
my life seems like yours
I like Joni Mitchell in the Fall.
I like twirling
and falling down in the leaves
in the sun
under the cool sky
with the clouds
going by
I worship
you Oh Lord.
If you want to see beauty in your life, especially in the mundane things like riding the Metro, take off your headphones, turn off your ipod, put down that book however entertaining or spiritually enriching it might be.
You’ll be glad you did. There’s bound to be something that lightens your heart, or causes you to become more human…
On the Green line train home today,
I am somewhere…exquisite.
It is the voice, the smooth, silky, sincere, spanish voice That I hear over my shoulder that does it,
That takes me
That renders me unable,
I can only admire
the book slips closed
This is no fantasy, no desire–
I am listening in on
on love
“Now arriving, West Hyattsville.”
Snapping back into reality, I sit up
Another interruption…
I am a new person, and it’s because of what God has done.
Today, it is new.
Life is new.
The people in my life
are cozying up
over apple cider and football and cobbler
We’re going to find some semblance of
goodness.
We’re going to confess our tendency to
love too much
or not enough.
We’re going to spend our energy on behalf of the
poor
We’re going to attempt
reconciliation
We’re going to be
changed
And I am going to wake up
every morning
and put one foot in front of the next
be broken
and blessed
yes
broken
and blessed
here in our city
in our village
in our home.
Yes, this is home.
We’ve finally found it.
We are here.
Seems important. There are so many hands that go into making the things we wear and the food we eat.
I was reminded of the significance of this day by one of the folks who lives at L’Arche. He was really excited about the labor day celebration he had gone to and couldn’t wait to share it with his co-workers.
As I think about the hard work, the slave work of many people in our culture, I get sad. But, then I see that many of these people who work so hard are much more happy than the corporate businessmen who live the posh yet void life at company spa retreats.
For a moment, I get a little judgmental, a little idealistic, but then just at the right time I remember Henri Nouwen quote that said,
“I am convinced each human being suffers in a way that no other human being suffers.”
Sort of the Christian version of the Bob Marley, “Each man thinks his burden is the heaviest.”
My specific burden–is it something that I accept? Live for? Or live beyond? I don’t want to be defined by it. But I need to see it.
It was a great day to be at the Greenbelt Festival. Families and couples and kids milling about, open to experiencing the day.
Our church, New Leaf, had a table and it was great to see how people are open to a church, even if they don’t go. Or if they had a church of their own. Or if they were searching…
I spent most of my time pouring paint for kids to paint pots and chatting it up with the kids and their moms. But I overheard many conversations of people just seeking, asking, daring to let down their guard and ask…do you really believe that? Or, is this church really different than any other? Should it be?
I realized, as I watched many of my fellow church friends, that what mattered was the listening. Each person was hearing the other out–not trying to get a word in edgewise.
Afterward, I went to see the Julie & Julia film. Julie was at the end of her rope and she found meaning in sharing her life with others (even if it was mostly on a blog!).
In liturgy at New Leaf Church we are working through Life of the Beloved. We have spent a few weeks in each of the movements that Henri Nouwen identifies:
